April 2008 Cub Scout Roundtable Issue
Volume 14, Issue 9
May 2008 Theme
Theme: Leaf It to Cubs
Outdoorsman & Artist
Tiger Cub Activities
ONE LAST THING
Murphy Was A Scouter
Baltimore Area Council
Everyone knows Murphy’s Law. Well, it is a little known fact the Murphy was actually a Scout Leader. In my continuing quest to learn more about Scouting, I have begun to locate a number of his quotations, which I now offer to share with everyone. Murphy traveled throughout Canada, the USA, England and Australia, so some of the terms listed here may have a regional flavor.
- Scout Leaders who fail to show up at Leader’s planning meetings are automatically volunteered for the next least favored instruction or activity.
- The last Scouter who quit will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong - at least until the next Scouter quits.
- No matter how long or hard you shop for a particular piece of camping gear, immediately after you’ve bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
- Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of time, planning, material acquisition, skill testing and training, Cub Scouts will invariably do as they dang well please.
- The time spent on consuming a camp meal is in inverse proportion to the time spent preparing it.
- Any tent peg, when dropped, will fall immediately where the tent will be placed and directly underneath where you will place your sleeping bag.
- Interchangeable parts - aren’t.
- The chance of a piece of bread falling with the buttered side down, is directly proportional to the amount of mud in which you are standing.
- Leakproof seals - will.
- Never eat prunes when you’re famished.
- Matches are always at the bottom of the rucksack (backpack) when you need them.
- Matchboxes always open upside down, spilling the contents.
- The size of the fire is inversely proportional to the need, (for example - a glimmer for cooking and a roaring inferno for the campfire singing).
- The Map you bring is the wrong one, someone has just used the correct one to light the fire.
- The number of tent pegs is always equal to the number of guy-ropes, less one.
- There is always a rock buried where you want to drive in the tent peg.
- The strength of the wind (and rain) is inversely proportional to the number of people putting up the tent.
- Meals are always eaten before the Leader has time to eat.
- The Leaders sausages (hot-dogs) are always the ones that fall into the fire.
- Lights out, for Scouts, is defined as the time to start having fun.
- The weight of rucksacks increases with the distance traveled.
- Contents of a rucksack always increase in size when you try to repack them.
- Contents of the rucksack reverse position after packing, in proportion to their urgency of need (most needed items at the bottom).
- The carrier of the First Aid kit is always the furthest person away from the emergency.
- The size of a cut is always greater than the biggest Band-Aid available.
Here is another Murphyism –
Fifteen Steps to Building a Campfire
Baltimore Area Council
- Split dead limb into fragments and shave one fragment into slivers.
- Bandage left thumb.
- Chop other fragments into smaller fragments
- Bandage left foot.
- Make structure of slivers (include those embedded in hand)
- Light Match
- Light Match
- Repeat, “A Scout is cheerful” and light match.
- Apply match to slivers, add wood fragments, and blow gently into base of fire.
- Apply burn ointment to nose.
- When fire is burning, collect more wood.
- Upon discovering that fire has gone out while out searching for more wood, soak wood from can labeled “kerosene.”
- Treat face and arms for second-degree burns.
- Relabel can to read “gasoline.”
- When fire is burning well, add all remaining firewood.
- When thunderstorm passes, repeat steps 1 through 15.