SKITS

Newspapers Are Important

Circle Ten Council

Boys walk onto stage talking among themselves about how their parents get the papers every day.  One boy might indicate that his dad picks it up off the porch every morning while another laments that their delivery is always in the bushes.  Another points out that it is full of important information like sport scores and stock prices.  Finally, they all shake their heads in agreement and face the audience.

Cub # 1:      My parents told me that the newspaper is the most important thing we get in our house!

Cub # 2:      Yeah, if my dad didn’t get the paper, he wouldn’t have anything to put under the car to soak up the oil in the garage.

Cub # 3:      That’s really important, but my mom has to get the paper so she has something to clean the windows when we can’t see through them anymore.

Cub # 4:      I didn’t know how important newspapers were until last summer.  My folks told me that if they didn’t get the paper, they would have anything to put under the steamed crabs!

Cub # 5:      No Kidding!  And if my mom didn’t get the paper, I don’t know what she’d put under the kitty litter!

Cub # 6:      Well, they’re right, you know!  If my dad didn’t use the newspaper on the dining room table, my mom night find out and then she wouldn’t let him spray paint my pinewood derby there.

ALL            See?  Newspapers are really important!

The Hoot ‘N Holler Tribune

Baltimore Area Council

Cast:

EDITOR:                    dressed in shirt sleeves and an eyeshade.

REPORTER:              wears fedora hat with sign “Reporter” pushed back on his head.

COPY BOY:               dressed as “yuppie”

LINOTYPIST:           dressed in work cloths carrying a clothes line.

WALTER WILLTELL:     wears fedora hat, loud tie, & suit.

PROOFREADER:     wears “Sherlock Holmes” hat & carries magnifying glass.

OFFICE BOY:            wears sweater and slacks, and has long white beard.

CUB REPORTER:     wears jeans and fedora hat and carries a teddy bear.

Props:

Two desks: One with “Editor” sign and a shadow box at each side labeled “Incoming” and “Outgoing.” The other desk is for the reporter. Put two or three phones on Editor’s desk and a wastebasket beside it. Place a typewriter on Reporter’s desk.

Alarm Clock: These are out of sight and set to go off at regular intervals during skit.

“The End” sign: hidden behind Editor’s desk.

Ice Cream Scoop: carried by Copy Boy.

Flash Bulb Camera: used by Walter Willtell.

The action takes place in the office of the “Hoot ‘N Holler Daily Trombone.” The Editor is seated at his desk. The Reporter is pounding away at his typewriter. Each time an alarm clock goes off, the Editor picks up a phone and bellows “Hello!” and bangs the receiver down saying “Wrong number!” There should be an air of hectic confusion throughout the skit.

Editor: (shouting) Copy Boy! (copy boy, paper in band, comes dancing in like a real “hep” cat.)

Copy Boy: Yeah, Man - like, I’m a Copy-Cat! (Editor snatches papers angrily; copy boy dances out.)

Reporter: (loudly) What’s the deadline? (Boy enters with paper in band; gives it to reporter.) This is no deadline. This is the obituary column! (Editor shakes bead in disgust.)

Copy Boy: Well, they’re all dead, aren’t they? (Reporter gets up menacingly, as if to choke copy boy. Boy scurries away.)

Editor: I wish we’d get a good “scoop” just once!

Copy Boy: (running in with ice cream scoop) Here’s one! (Editor snatches scoop and throws it at boy as be beats a hasty retreat, laughing.)

Office Boy enters and takes papers from the “Outgoing” box and starts to put them into the wastebasket.

 Editor: (angrily) Who are you?

Office Boy: I’m the new office boy, Sir.

Editor: Well, get out of here and let my papers alone! (grabs papers and puts them back in “Outgoing” box as office boy exits.)

Reporter: Where’s that linotypist?

Linotypist: (enters currying a piece of clothesline) Cant’ find a linotypist, but here’s a piece of clothesline,

Reporter: I don’t want that. Get out of here! (Linotypist exits as Proofreader enters. He hovers around Editor’s desk, examining everything closely with the magnifying glass.)

Editor: What on earth are you doing here?

Proofreader: Who, me? I’m the proofreader, and I’m looking for proof. (Editor holds his bead in anguish as -proofreader ambles off, examining everything as be leaves.)

Editor: If this keeps up, we’ll have to stop the presses. News! News! News! That’s what we need. Instead, what have we got? A proofreader with a Sherlock Holmes complex. (Editor pounds fist on desk as be talks. He pick up phone.) Hello! City Desk? Send me some news.

(After be has completed his call, be paces up and down behind his desk. Cub reporter comes skipping in, carrying his teddy bear.)

Editor: Now, just tell me please, what have we here?

Cub Reporter: I’m your eager Cub Reporter. You asked for news, and here I am. I am reporting on the cubs at the zoo. There are exactly four Well, almost that is. Now there are only three. I brought one along.

Editor: Out! Out! Out! (holds bead and groans) Oh for some news.

Reporter: Here comes Walter Willtell. Now we’ll get some gossip!

Walter Willtell: (enters, and speaks very rapidly) Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen and all the ships at sea! I’ll be back in a flash with a flash! (He runs out, re-enters with camera and takes a flash picture of the audience. Editor props “The End” sign in front of his desk.)

The Important Meeting

Baltimore Area Council

Scene: Six to eight players sit around a table scattered with papers, a couple of water glasses, etc. They mime a discussion, some jotting down notes, etc. Enter the narrator, outfitted as a news reporter. In confidential tones, the reporter explains that this is an important meeting of the group committee, gathered on this occasion to make some very important decisions.

As the narrator says something like, “Let’s see if we can get a bit closer to hear how things are going”, the group at the table adds some mumbling and unintelligible arguing to their mime. Occasionally, they punctuate the din with outbursts such as, “No, no!”; “I disagree!”; “That’s better”; “No way!” “That might work” and the like.

Finally, the hubbub dies, the group settles back. One member stands and announces, “Then it’s decided; a 12-slice pizza with olives, mushrooms, lots of cheese, but hold the pepperoni.”

All: Agreed!

The Big Story

Baltimore Area Council

A News reporter enters the stage and complains that there is no news. He sees a cliff and decides to jump off. He stands on the edge of the cliff ready to jump; he begins to swing his arms and to count to three a....l...a...

As he gets to two a second person runs on shouting STOP! What are you doing?

The new reporter explains. The second man decides that he’ll jump too, as he is the sheriff of this small town and there is no crime and his cell is empty. As they both prepare to jump a third man runs on...

1st and 2nd men explain what they are doing... . He decides that he will also jump because he is a doctor with no patients.

Then a dairy farmer runs on as he has an udder disaster because his herd has no milk. Finally they all jump except for the reporter. . . he shouts excitedly, “wow! Now I really have a story to write about! Four People jump from a cliff in mass suicide!”

Circle Ten Council

Circle Ten had a take off on this skit with the following characters – CD

Reporter who can’t find a story

Cub Scout whose Den Leader is mad at him because his  buddy burner backfired and nearly burned down her house.

Den Leader who planned the Cub Scout Fair for my entire pack and their families.  And then it rained, so they had to move everything into her living room. Now there’s nothing left of her furniture.”

Cubmaster who found the doors to the church locked, the Pinewood Derby track broke down during the race, and forgot the flags.

Gain everyone jumps except the reporter.

And the reporter runs off yelling, “Now I’ve got a story!”

Roving Reporter

Sam Houston Area Council

Reporter: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.  Here' s your roving reporter with another man-on-the-street interview.  Tonight we are going to talk about mountains.  Here's a man right here.  How do you do, sir, can you tell me what is your impression of mountains?

First Man: "High!"

Reporter: Hi, yourself!  Now tell me, what is your impression of mountains?

First Man: Just like I said  "High!"

Reporter: Oh! Ha, ha, ha.  My mistake.  When you said  "High! ", I thought you said "Hi!” get it? Oh well, let's talk to someone else.  Here's a man.  Tell me, sir, how do you feel about mountains?

Second Man: Well, I've never been there, of course, but if I had to feel about mountains, I'd do like always, feel with my fingers.

Reporter: Ha, ha, ha, ha.  Seems we have some jokesters about today.  Well now, let's try our question on this little boy here.  Tell me, sonny, have you ever gone over the top of a mountain?

Small Boy: Yes, sir, lots of times.

Reporter: My, I'm surprised to hear that, must have been a hard trip for a youngster, actually to go clear over the top of a mountain.

Small Boy: Oh! No, sir, we were in an airplane.

Reporter: (to himself) This is getting ridiculous, but I’ll try one more time.  How do you do, sir, May I ask you a question?

Third Man: Why sure, what’s your Problem?

Reporter:    Tell me, sir, what’s your impression of life in the mountains?

Third Man: Well, from what I hear, it's a lot like an umbrella.

Reporter: An umbrella? I don't quite understand what you mean.

Third Man: Yup, like an umbrella.  Life in the mountains is either up or down.

Reporter: Sorry, folks, some days you can't win.

PAINTING

Santa Clara County Council

Cub # 1:                         You know the den leader’s birthday is coming up.

Cub # 2:                         Yeah.  We should do something for her.

Cub # 3:                         Yeah.  She is so much fun.  Let’s give her a present.

Cub # 4:                         I don’t have any money.  Do you?

Cub # 5:                         No.  But we could earn some money.

Cub #1:          Good idea!  Let’s go ask Mr. Smith.  He’s real nice.

Boys walk up to house and knock on door

Cub #1:          Hi, Mr. Smith.  We are trying to earn money to buy a present for our den leader.

Cub #2:          Do you have any jobs we could do to earn extra money?

Mr. Smith:    Why, you boys came at just the right time!  I was just about to go around back and paint my porch.  Do you think you can handle that job?

All:                 Sure!

Mr. Smith:    OK, then.  You’ll find everything you need around back.  Just knock on the front door if you have any questions.

All:                 Thanks, Mr. Smith!

Boys walk backstage behind house.

They return one at a time at ask questions then walk back

Cub #1:          (Knocks on door)  Is this the paint you wanted us to use, Mr. Smith?

Mr. Smith:    Yes, that’s right. Thanks for checking with me.

Cub #2:          (Knocks on door) We saw these old shirts in your garage, Mr. Smith.  Is it OK if we wear them so we won’t get paint on our uniforms?

Mr. Smith:    Good idea!  Glad to see you boys take such pride in your uniforms.

Cub #3:          (Knocks on door)  Mr. Smith, do you have some newspaper we could spread out in case we drip paint?

Mr. Smith:    Sure--here you go!  You boys certainly are being careful.

Cub #4:          (Knocks on door)  Is it OK if we close the windows so we don’t splatter paint inside?

Mr. Smith:    Sure--go ahead.  You boys think of everything!

Cub #5:          (Knocks on door)  Did you want us to paint the door, too, Mr. Smith?

Mr. Smith:    Sure--the door could use a fresh coat of paint!

Boys all return together to knock on door

Cub #3:          We’re all done now, Mr. Smith.

Cub #4:          Would you like to come around back and see how we did?

Mr. Smith:    Oh no, that won’t be necessary.  I know you Cub Scouts always do your best!  Here’s some money for each of you for your hard work

All:                 Wow!  Thanks, Mr. Smith!

Boys begin to walk away, then one turns back

Cub #5:          Thanks again Mr. Smith.  Oh, and by the way.  You don’t have a “Porche.” You have a Ferrari!

SECOND LANGUAGE

Southern NJ Council

Arrangement:     

One den member wears a sign reading “Mother Mouse.” 

Another has a sign reading “Cat.” 

All others wear signs reading “Mouse.”

Scene opens with Mother mouse taking her children for a walk.  (You may have to explain this)

Mother Mouse:    Come children it’s a beautiful day for a nice walk...

Other mice respond.

All making small talk while crossing the stage.

Suddenly Cat jumps into the path in front of the mice

Mother Mouse:    (in a loud voice) Bow wow wow!  Bow wow wow!

The cat screeches in fear and runs off.

Mice:                      Oh, Mother, we were so scared!

Mother Mouse:    Let that be a lesson to you, children.  It pays to learn a second language.

LISTEN AT THE WALL

Southern NJ Council

Cub #1 walks along a wall just listening, listening.  Others come along and see him.

Cub #2:      What do you hear?

Cub #1:      (Dramatically)  Listen!

Others listen.  But they don’t seem to hear anything.

Cub #3:      I don’t hear anything!

Cub #1:      (More dramatically)  Listen!

Others listen

Cub #4:      (In a disgusted voice)  I don’t hear anything.

Cub #1:      (With a faraway look)  You know, it’s been that way all day.