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April 2006 Cub Scout Roundtable Issue
| Volume 12, Issue 9
May 2006 Theme
Theme: Diggin' in the Dirt
Outdoorsman and Handyman
Tiger Cub Activities
ONE LAST THING
You might be taking your scouting too serious if:
- You buy that '89 Chevy Caprice because you really like that fleur-de-lys hood ornament.
- Your favorite color is "olive drab".
- You decide to lash together the new deck on the back of your house.
- You plan to serve foil meals at your next dinner party.
- You walk the streets in broad daylight with a coffee cup and flashlight hanging from your belt.
- You raise your hand in the scout sign at a heated business meeting.
- You were arrested by airport security because you wouldn't give up your official BSA pocketknife until the cop said "thank you".
- You didn't mind losing power to your house for three days.
- Your son hides his copy of Boy's Life from you.
- Your plans for remodeling the bathroom include digging the hole deeper.
- You trade your 25 ft. center console fishing boat in on that great little 15 ft. canoe.
- Your favorite movie is "Follow Me Boys" staring Fred MacMurray, and you spent months trying to convince Disney to release it on home video.
- You managed to find that 8th day in the week.
- Your patron saint is Ward Cleaver.
- You disconnect the automatic dishwasher in favor of the "3 pot method".
- You sneak a cup of "bug juice" after the troop turns in for the night.
- You can actually start a fire by rubbing two sticks together.
- Latrines at camp start becoming comfortable.
- You felt you won a moral victory when the BSA brought back knee socks.
- You think campaign hats are cool.
- You gave your wife a mummy bag rated for -15 deg F for Christmas. It was the nicest gift you've given her.
- You name one of your kids Baden.
- Your favorite tune is "Camp Granada" (hello mudda ...hello fadda) by Allen Sherman.
- You can recite the 12 points of the Scout Law backwards, in order, in 3 seconds flat.
- You bought 10,000 shares of Coleman stock on an inside tip that they were about to release a microwave accessory for their camp stove line.
- You can't eat eggs anymore unless they are cooked in a zip-loc bag.
- You plan to get rich by writing a best selling Dutch Oven cook book.
- You took a chemistry course at the local college to help you develop a better fire starter.
- You actually own a left-handed smoke shifter.
- The height of your social season is the district recognition dinner.
- A trip to Philmont is a pilgrimage.
- You are convinced that the center of the universe is Irving, Texas.
- The sales operators at the BSA distribution center's 800 number recognize your voice.
- Singing "Scout Vespers" makes you cry uncontrollably.
- You were disappointed when "Scouting Magazine" didn't win the Pulitzer Prize last year.
- The Scouts in your troop chipped in to have you abducted by a professional cult de-programmer.
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