STUNTS & APPLAUSES

Inland NW Council

Knock knock

Who’s there ?

Andy Green.

Andy Green who?

Andy Green grass grows all around.

Where does a bird goes when it loses it’s tail?

To the retail store.

What goes up when the rain  comes down?

Unbrellas.

Run-Ons
Sent by Fred in Atlanta

Subject: some thoughts

A good pun is its own reword

A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.

My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's  just kiln time.

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Sea captains don't like crew cuts.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red.

Central New Jersey Council

Why are rivers so poor when floods come?
Because the water washes away the banks

Why was the tornado arrested?
Because it was shoplifting

What is up in the sky but not a cloud or a plane or a man?
The sun.

What's worse than raining cats and dogs???
HAILING TAXIS!!!

Walk Ons

Walk On (if someone is dressed as the weather man): Postcard to Weather Bureau: "Sirs: I thought you would be interested in knowing that I have just shoveled three feet of partly cloudy from my front steps."