Connecticut Rivers Council
Cheer: Brrrrr-rrr, Brrrrr-rrr.
(Scout): Wrap your hands around yourself and say "Brrrrrrr".
Claus: Reach out and hold stomach saying loudly, "HO, HO, HO" three times.
Variation: Add: "MERRY CHRISTMAS!"
Say "Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way"
Bells: Pretend to hold a bell rope, then get the left side of the audience
to say "DING" on the down stroke and the other side of the audience to say
"DONG" on the up stroke
Put thumbs to your head with fingers up, forming antlers. Wrinkle your nose,
saying. Blink, Blink, Blink."
Cheer: Shape an ice cube with a thumb and index finger, saying, "COOOOL!"
Cheer: Crouch down with hands on knees, then straighten up and extend your
arms high and wide, and shout, “What a star you are!”
SNOWBALL: Reach down and pick up some snow. Pack it into a ball. Pull
Arm back, throw, and yell "SPLAAAAT."
ELF Pick up hammer and say, Nail, nail, nail, Glue, glue, glue, Build,
Catsup Applause - Hold bottle in left hand and try to pound catsup out of
the bottle with your right hand.
Quarter Pounder - Applause Place a pretend quarter in your left palm.
Holding hand flat, make a fist with right hand and pound your left hand.
of Approval - Applause Put your forearms together from the elbows to the
wrists. Keeping your arms in this position, move them from side to side while
you flap your hands together and make an “URK URK” noise like a seal. (If the
boys are sitting down, you might add an extra feature and see if they can kick
their feet together at the same time.)
Who brings dogs their presents at Christmas?
What do you get if you divide the circumference of a
pumpkin by its diameter?
What do you call a stolen yam?
A hot potato.
What do turtles give each other
If an athlete gets "athletes
foot", what does an astronaut get?
What is the weather forecast
Can you drop a full glass and
spill no water?
Yes, when the glass is full of milk.
Which will burn longer, a 2”
or 8” candle?
Neither, they both burn shorter.
What is the best paper for
Where are the coldest seats in
Why isn’t a person’s nose
twelve inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
Why is a joke like a coconut?
It isn’t any good until it’s cracked.
What has a foot on each end
and one in the middle?
it that is put on the table, cut and passed, but never eaten? A deck
Tourist arrives at a hotel needing a room
Hi, is your name Jell-O?
Tourist: Uh… no.
Clerk: Too bad, ‘cause there’s always room for Jell-O!
Waiter, I can’t eat this!
Waiter: Why not sir?
Diner: You haven’t given me a knife and fork.
Waiter, this lobster only has one claw.
Waiter: I think he’s been in a fight, sir.
Diner: Well, bring me the winner!
Dad and his son are eating hamburgers at McDonalds
Daddy, What are these little things on the hamburger buns?
They are tiny seeds and they’re okay to eat.
(After a long pause)
Son: Dad, if we go home and plant these seeds in our backyard,
we will have enough hamburgers to last forever.
A Zen Buddhist walks into a
pizza parlor and says, “Make me one with everything.”
Indigestion is what you get
when a square meal doesn’t fit in a round stomach.
A cheesecake is something that
turns to pound cake when you eat it.
A big sign is posted in a
fast-food restaurant that reads, “No bills larger than $20 will be accepted.”
The woman in front of the line points to the sign and remarks, “Believe me, if I
HAD a bill larger than 20 dollars, I wouldn’t be eating here.”
Person walks across stage when
a phone rings; picks it up; says: “You don’t say.” (pauses) “You don’t say.”
(pauses) “You don’t say.” (hangs up the phone)
Cubmaster: “Who was that?”
answers: “I don’t know, he didn’t say!”
Boy 1: Tonight we are
going to be talking about ancient Greece.
(Boy 2 walks onstage carrying
a can of Crisco.)
Boy 1: No, no; not that
kind of grease. You know Greece, the place.
2: Oh yeah, that’s in back of the cafeteria.
Scout walks on stage carrying
a fishing pole.
Boy 1: Did you catch
Boy 2: Yes.
Boy 1: How big was it?
2: It was THIS BIG. (Build up speech volume on THIS while spreading hands
farther apart. On BIG, suddenly bring hands to about 6 or 7 inches apart).
Cub #1: Did you eat all
of the cookies?
Cub #2: I didn’t touch
Cub #1: That’s strange,
because there is only one left.
#2: Right. That’s the one I didn’t touch!
I asked Mom for a new pair of sneakers for gym.
What did she say?
Cub 1: She said to tell Jim to buy his own sneakers.
Star Wars And Chinese Food
Remember Mark Hamill from Star
Wars? He doesn't like to eat in Chinese restaurants. He likes the food fine, but
has a lot of trouble using chopsticks. Just when he starts to get really
frustrated, this voice whispers in his ear, "Use the Forks Luke."
In America, if you want to split the cost of an evening out, you
say you are "going Dutch," since the Dutch are well known for their frugality.
The Dutch, on the other hand, call the same arrangement "op z'n Amerikaans"
(going American) because the Americans are known for their egalitarian nature!
In English, the bird "turkey" was named as though it came from
Turkey. In Turkish, the bird is named "hindi" as though it came from
"Hindistan", which is Turkish for India. (Any Hindi speakers wish to comment on
the Hindi name of a turkey?)
French fries aren't really French. In fact, they were invented by
the English (so greasy, you know), who call them chips. The French call them
"pommes frites" or "fried apples [of the earth]".
In Wien (the German name for Vienna), they like to eat
Frankfurters. In Frankfurt, they eat the same thing, but call them Wieners.
Stupid Food Laws:
In Arizona: It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.
In Illinois: A law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.
In Washington: All lollipops are banned.
In Florida: It is illegal to sell peanuts after sundown on
In Alabama: Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by