SKITS

The Oldest Settler In The West - Skit

Circle Ten Council

This is a very simple skit, almost an elongated run-on!

Cub #1:  Who’s the oldest settler in the west?

Cub #2:  Death Valley Scout?

Cub #1:  Nope.

Cub #3:  Buffalo Bill?

Cub #1:  Nope.

Cub #4:  Daniel Rodney?

Cub #1:  Nope.

Cubs # 2,3 and 4:  We give up, who is the oldest settler in the west?

Cub #1:  The sun!

The Show Down

Circle Ten Council

Set up:  Western costumes, stick horse, Town’s Treasure (small toy)

Characters:  Sheriff Fear Less, Banker Count de Money, Bad guy Rude Red Bart, Good guy The Looone Ranger, Den Leader.

SHERIFF:  (on stage alone) I’m the sheriff in these here parts…Sheriff Fear Less, and I run a clean town.  Don’t any of you even think of causin’ any trouble or I’ll run ya out of town.  I ain’t afraid of nobody.

(Banker runs frantically on stage from audience.)

SHERIFF:  Here comes our banker, Count de Money. Mmmmmm, he seems upset.  Count, what’s up?

BANKER:  It’s awful, just awful.  The bank’s been robbed!

SHERIFF:  Robbed?  I’ll get a posse.  I’ll track the no good so and so down.  I’ll……….

BANKER:  It’s Rude Red Bart.

SHERIFF:  …leave town.

BANKER:  But who’ll get the Town’s Treasure back?

SHERIFF:  T’aint me.  Rude Red Bart is so mean he won’t help little old ladies across the street and steals candy from babies.  There’s only one man who can help us now…. The Loooone Ranger!

BANKER:  The Loooone Ranger?

SHERIFF:  Yes, the Loooone Ranger.  (Rude Red Bart walks out)

RUDE RED:  The Loooone Ranger can’t help you now.

(Banker and Sheriff draw back in horror.)  It’s Rude Red Bart!

RUDE RED:   That’s right!  I’m the meanest, low down bad guy you’ve ever wanted to meet, North, South, East or West of the Pecos.  And I don’t never give nothin’ back once I take it.

SHERIFF:  Not to mention that you smell bad and have rotten teeth.  But that’s not going to stop us from calling the Looooone Ranger.

BANKER:  (tugging on the Sheriff’s sleeve)  But phones haven’t been invented yet!

SHERIFF:  Not that kind of calling.  We’ll get everyone here to call “Where are you Looooone Ranger?

(Have the audience call “Where are you Looooone Ranger?”  at least three times and louder each time.  After the third time the Looooone Ranger comes riding in on a stick horse.)

RANGER:  I heard someone calling me and my mommy always told me to come when called.  Now what’s the matter?  I was playing with Tonto.

BANKER:   Rude Red Bart robbed the bank!

RANGER:  (walks over to Rude Red so they are chest to chest)  Rude Red, what did I tell you about taking things that didn’t belong to you?

RUDE RED:  (pushes back)  Don’t care.

RANGER:  (pushes back)  And did I tell you what I was going to do?

RUDE RED:  (pushes back)  Still don’t care.

RANGER:  (pushes back)  I’ll call your Den Leader!

RUDE RED:  (draws back, upset)  No!  No!  Not that! I promise I’ll be good.  I’ll do anything you want!  Just please don’t call my Den Leader!  I was just a funnin’.

RANGER:  It’s too late now!  Mr. or Mrs. ___________, come here please.  I need you help!

LEADER: (from audience) What can I help you with?

RANGER:  Well sir (or ma’am).  It’s Rude Red.  He’s been a baaaaaad boy.  He robbed the bank of the Town’s Treasure.

LEADER:   Little Red is that true?

RUDE RED:  (head down) Yes sir (or ma’am).

LEADER:  What am I going to do with you?  I just can’t leave you alone for one minute.  Now, you give back what you took.

RUDE RED:  (protesting) Awww, do I have to?

LEADER:  Yes, and what do you say?

RUDE RED:  (pulls toy out from under shirt and hands to banker) I’m sorry.

LEADER:  Now let’s go!  I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.  (Leads him off)

RANGER:  Well, my work here is done.  Hi-Ho Platinum, awaaay!  (rides off on his stick horse)

SHERIFF AND BANKER:  (looking off) Who is that masked man?

“Frontier Life”

Santa Clara County Council

A narrator tells a story of the harsh frontier life out on the prairie.  Scouts perform various actions cued by the narrator, including a large group to act as a thundering herd of buffalo, and three act as “volunteers.”

The narrator begins by asking for three volunteers from the audience (pre-selected and cued).  They are asked to come forward and lay down on their stomachs next to each other.  The narrator then says, “Now to begin.  Frontier life out on the prairie was very harsh.  First, the wind swept across the prairie” (A scout comes out with a broom and sweeps the backs of the three volunteers while making wind noises).

The narrator continues with “The sun beat down” (another scout shines a flashlight on the heads and backs of the volunteers).  “And the rain came down” (another scout sprinkles water on them).  The narrator continues with the story, explaining how difficult it was to plant crops and build homes, etc, with each of the element actions being repeated in turn.

Finally, the narrator explains, “Worse than the wind, sun and rain was the constant fear of a buffalo stampede.”  (On that cue, a large group of Scouts charges across the stage toward the volunteers, who get up and run off the stage.)

Dude Ranch

(This is, also, a great run on)

Heart of America Council

Props: A couple of western hats and bandannas would help set the scene.

Announcer: This skit takes place at a dude ranch.

Old Hand:      (slouched against fence, slow western accent) So, you want to go ridin' eh?

Dude:             (City Voice) Well, yes, that's what I came to this expensive resort to do!

Old Hand:      You ever been ridin' before?

Dude:             No, I expect you to teach me.

Old Hand:      Well... we better start with the saddle. Would you like an English saddle or Western saddle?

Dude:             I don't know, what's the difference?

Old Hand:      Well... the English saddle is flat, the Western saddle has a horn on it.

Dude:             Give me the one with the horn. I don't want anybody getting in my way!!

Three Rivers

Heart of America Council

Players: a prospector, two tired riders,

Scene:   campfire, prospector eating dinner. First tried rider walks up to the campfire.

1st rider:           Hey, old timer. That grub smells mighty good; would you happen to have any extra to spare?

Prospector:       Sure, sonny, hand me that empty plate over there and I'll fix you right up.

1st rider:           Gee, this plate looks kinda dirty.

Prospector:       Dirty? That plates not dirty; its as clean as Three Rivers can get it. (Prospector dishes up the food; rider shrugs and eats.)

1st rider:           Well, thanks for the grub. I've got to be moving on.

2nd rider:          Boy, I've been ridin' for miles and I sure am hungry. Would you have any of that great stew to share?

Prospector:       You bet, young feller, hand me that bowl over there and I'll fill it up for you.

2nd rider:          (makes face and looks into the bowl) This bowl seems pretty dirty to me, do you have a cleaner one?

Prospector:       Dirty? Why that bowl's as clean as Three Rivers can get it. (Prospector dishes up food; rider shrugs and eats.)

2nd rider:          I've got to be going, thanks for the great food. (Prospector finishes eating.)

Prospector:       Well, that was mighty good grub. Now, time to clean the dishes. (Prospector puts dishes on ground and whistles.) Three Rivers! Here, Three Rivers, it time to do the dishes.

The Tates Watch Company

From Commissioner Dave’s

Collection of Classic Scout stories.

Back in the 1840's the Tates Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to make other products. Since they already made the cases for the excellent pocket watches they made, they decided to make compasses for the 49ers heading West that would, also, fit in the cases.

It turned out that, although their watches were of finest quality, their compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico, rather than California.  This, of course, is the origin of the expression, "He who has a Tates is lost!"