SKITS

MAKING A CUB SCOUT
York  Adams  Council
(An excellent opening for the induction of new Cub Scouts into the pack)

Characters:Child,  Two Leaders, Two Parents

Props: You will need a large table for the child to lie on during the “operation.”

The “doctor” can carry a large cardboard knife.  Props to be “removed” are tacked to back of table, out of sight.  Those to be “put in” can be placed nearby. (Props are listed where used.)

Narrator: We are about to instruct you in the method of making a Cub Scout.  To complete this project, you will need one small eager boy, two interested parents, one patient  Den Leader, and one courageous Cubmaster.

(Each character enters as his name is spoken. Boy wears uniform under a large loose fitting shirt and climbs up on the table. Others don surgical masks . As the narrator  continues, the operation proceeds, with Cubmaster acting as doctor.  Den Leader and parents hand him the things to be put in and take the things removed.  When the boy is hidden under a sheet, he removes his shirt.)

Narrator: Cover him with fun and good times  (Hold up posters labeled “FUN” and “GOOD TIMES” and cover boy)  We use laughing gas for anesthetic.  (Use a tire pump labeled “Laughing Gas.”)  Take out hate and put in Love.

(Hate - lump of paper, so labeled. Love - big paper heart, labeled).

Take out selfishness, put in cooperation. (Sign “I,” sign “WE).  Take out idle hands, put in busy fingers.  (Idle - empty rubber gloves. Busy - glove full of flour.)  Take out laziness, put in ambition.  (Laziness - rag; Ambition - blown up balloon.)  After this pleasant operation, we have a “Cub Scout.”  (Remove the sheet. Boy, in uniform, stands up and gives the Cub Scout sign.)

Long Rivers Council Pow Wow 1992

Heart of America Council
Pumpkin Patch Patter

Personnel: 12 Cubs dressed as pumpkins, Mother and children  Other boys maybe dressed up a pumpkins sitting on stage at the sides.  If you don’t have this many parts double up on the speaking parts.

Equipment: Boy’s may either make actual pumpkin costume or may make large paper pumpkins and pin them on their clothing. One sign saying “PUMKIN PATCH” 12 signs saying “THE END”

Setting: Pumpkin Patch sign in placed on stage. The 12 pumpkins sit on floor in single file.  Mother and children enter and remain on stage pretending to look at the pumpkins.

Pumpkin 1: (Angrily) Well, here we are once again.   I hate being a pumpkin.

Pumpkin 2: I know what you mean.  Pretty soon they’ll all be over here poking and squeezing, and trying to decide how to dress us up.

Pumpkin 3: (Loudly) I’m tired of being Carved! It Hurts!

Pumpkin 4: (Smiling) I wish they’d give me a pretty smile and not tooth decay.

Pumpkin 5: (Wiping his brow) And that candle so hot. Boy, were they glad I used DIAL!

Pumpkin 6: Well, it’s better than crayon all over your face.  They really get carried away. I even had a beard and moustache.

Pumpkin 7: Be thankful for a beard and moustache.  How would you like to be wearing a girl’s wig!  I was humiliated!

Pumpkin 8: At least a wig is soft. The family I was with stuck gourds all over my head.  Two ears, two eyes and a big nose!

Pumpkin 9: I keep getting a spot on the window sill. I need more room than that.  You can’t imagine the bruises I have from falling.  (Rubs his back)

Pumpkin 10: (Very indignantly) Well, I resent when they decide to build a pyramid with two or three of us.  They call it a pumpkin man. I call it sore shoulders.

Pumpkin 11: (Disgustedly) I‘ve been listening to you all complain for the last 10 minutes, and not one of you mentioned being put outside.  Every year, for one solid week, I get the place of honor on the front porch.

Pumpkin 12: (Shaking his head in agreement) Me, too. The least they could is take us in when it rains, or give us a raincoat.

Pumpkin 1: (Pointing to the family coming over) Be quiet; here they come.   Maybe we’ll be too small or the wrong shape.

Children: (Excitedly) Mommy, over here!  Look at all the pumpkins!

Mother: Why, these pumpkins are too small and are all twisted out of shape.

Pumpkin: (In unison) Thank goodness!

Mother: (Very slowly says as she is eyeing each pumpkin) But … they’ll make perfect pumpkin pies.

Pumpkin: (Groan in unison) Oh! NO!

Six O’clock
Heart of America Council

Personnel: Cubs in animal costumes.

Setting: Various animals inside barn.

Rooster: (loudly) Cock ‘a’ doodle do. It’s now time to wake up.

Cow: Well, I guess that means it’s time to get going.

Dog: (Stretching) You’d think that for one morning Rooster would forget.

(Lights off stage come on and moving sounds are heard from house, walking on floors, doors slamming, water running.)

Horse: Come on you lazy creatures.  Farmer Brown expects us to be raring to go when he comes in.

Rooster: It’s six o’clock and it’s time for everyone to get moving.  (Everyone moves around, groaning.)

Cat: There’s activity going on in the house.  I’m going to go scratch on the door for some milk.

(Exits)

Farmer Brown: (Enters) Good morning animals, you are all up early. It looks like a beautiful day out there. (Animals just stand around.)  Let’s get all of you some breakfast and start this day off right. (Starts feeding animals.  Farmer Brown just rambles on and on to the animals.)  Gee, it would be nice to know what you re all thinking when I’m talking to you.  (Animals turn  and stare)  But of course everyone knows animals can’t talk. (Walks off)  (As Farmer Brown walks off all animals wink at

audience.)

Farmer Brown and His Friends
Heart of America Council

Personnel: 6 Cubs

Equipment: Large piece of cardboard made to look like a barn with enough windows for each boy.  Farmer Brown needs to look like a farmer.

Setting: This skit is running jokes.  All should have a copy of it and is funniest if done very quickly.  Farmer Brown is in front of the barn, keeping things going.

Farmer Brown: Welcome to Den ___’s version of Hee Haw.

Cub 1: Hey Farmer Brown. What do you get when you cross an onion with a potato?
Farmer Brown: I don’t know.
Cub 1: A spud with watery eyes.

Cub 2: Hey (4) Why did the rooster crow early?
Cub 4: Because his cluck was fast.

Cub 3: Why does a cow wear a bell?
Farmer Brown: Why?
Cub 3: Because her horns don’t work.

Cub 5: Hey (1) what three states have the most cows?
Cub 1 : Cow  lorado, Moo  ssouri and Cow lifornia.

Cub 2: What do you call it when you pawn a pig?
Farmer Brown: A ham hock.

Cub 5: Hey (3), Do you like raisin bread?
Cub 3: Can’t say, never tried raisin’ it.

Cub 4: (6) What do you call a carrot that insults a farmer?
Cub 6: I don’t know, what?
Cub 4: A fresh vegetable.

Cub 6: What do you get when you cross a dog and a chicken?
Farmer Brown: A pooched egg.

Cub 5: Hey, (2), How many kinds of milk are there?
Cub 2: Well...there’s whole milk, skimmed milk, condensed milk, and, say why do you want to know?
Cub 5: I’m drawing a picture of a cow and I want to know how many faucets to put on it.

Cub 1: Farmer Brown, what did the pig say when the farmer picked it up by the tail?
Farmer Brown: I don’t know. What?.
Cub 1: This is the end of me.

Farmer Brown: (Turns around with ‘‘THE END’’ on

the seat of his pants.)