Volume 5 Issue 12
July 1999

SKITS

The Fisherman

Trapper Trails Council

Scene - A fish market, customer and merchant

Customer: I want you to do me a favor.

Merchant: What is it Mr. Higwig?

Customer: I just got back from a fishing trip.

Merchant: Did you catch anything?

Customer: No, and that's the catch. My wife said I wouldn't and I'm in the doghouse. I said I would catch six fish.

Merchant: Well, how can I help you.

Customer: Let me have six of those medium size trout there.

Merchant> Wrap 'em up?

Customer: No, don't make a liar out of me. Pitch 'em to me one at a time.

Merchant: Well, I don't understand but here goes. (Tosses the fish to the Customer) What was that for?

Customer: Very simple. I caught them, didn't I.

Merchant: (Grinning)You're right Mr. Higwig. Good Luck. (Customer leaves)

Peanuts

The Best of the Leaders Cut Out Pages

Cast: Policeman; three boys; police chief. (Policeman hustles scuffed-looking boys up to a boy sitting at table marked (CHIEF.)

Chief: Okay, constable. I'll deal with this. (Dismisses officer, turns sternly to Boy 1) Well, now. Why are you here?

Boy 1: (embarrassed) I threw peanuts into the lake. (Chief looks puzzled)

Chief: (sternly to Boy 2) And why, then, were you brought in?

Boy 2: (defensively) I threw peanuts into the lake. (Chief scowls angrily)

Chief: (bellows at Boy 3) and you! What have you got to say for yourself?

Boy 3: I'm Peanuts, sir! (Exit all)

Water Water

York Adams Council

Man walking by: "Sorry." He continues walking.

Another man walks by, the crawling man tugs on his pant leg: "Water, Water!"

Man walking by: "All I've got is this beef jerky, sorry."

He keeps walking.

Another man walks by, the crawling man tugs on his pant leg: "Water, Water!"

Man walking by: "No, I don't have any." He keeps walking.

The crawling man sees a cup of water at the other end of the stage. "Water!!" He painfully crawls over there. "Water! Water!"

When he reaches the water, he quickly stands up, dunks his comb in it, and uses it to comb his hair.

I Gotta Go Wee

York Adams Council

Five guys sleeping in a tent, all in a row. The Cubmaster on one end, the little scout on the other. The little scout climbs over all the other sleeping scouts, who try to remain asleep, and shakes the Cubmaster. " Cubmaster! Cubmaster! I gotta go wee!"

"Huh? Wha? Go back to sleep." The little scout crawls back over everyone and goes back to sleep for 5 seconds. The little scout climbs over all the other sleeping scouts, who try to remain asleep, and shakes the Cubmaster.

" Cubmaster! Cubmaster! I gotta go wee!"

"Huh? Wha? Go back to sleep." The little scout crawls back over everyone and goes back to sleep for 5 seconds. The little scout climbs over all the other sleeping scouts, who try to remain asleep, and shakes the Cubmaster.

" Cubmaster! Cubmaster! I gotta go wee!"

"OK! OK!", says the Cubmaster, "If you've gotta go, then go."

The little scout stands up and waves his hands in the air: "Weee!!!!"

The Water Table

York Adams Council

For this skit, the members of the den all come to the front and set themselves up as chairs, sidetables, etc. as someone explains that the group is going to do a restaurant skit. (You need to have two boys not doing anything so they can be the customer and the waiter.) This means that the den has to fall short one person—someone to be the main table. The speaker calls for a volunteer from the audience to get down on all fours and make sure his/her back is as flat as possible. The customer then enters the restaurant and is shown to his table. The waiter introduces himself and asks if he can get anything. The customer says he would like a glass of water while he looks over the menu. The waiter returns with a glass of water that he carefully balances on the back of the "table person." All of a sudden, from off stage, someone yells Fire! Fire! The customer, waiter, and all the other boys get up and run off stage, leaving the "table" to fend for itself. No one returns to remove the water glass—that's the volunteer's problem!

 

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