STUNTS AND CHEERS
Run-Ons
Best Selling Books--Denver Area Council
I was a bathing beauty Queen by Teuton Tilly
Learn to Swim in Thirty Seconds by Bea A. Fish
Beach Vacations Around the World, Yul B. Sandy
How To Treat Poison Ivy by, I.M. Itchy
Take Me Out To The Ball Game, Hedda Homer
Noises In the World, Izzy A. Bear
The Cookout Cookbook, Burntoo A Crisp
My Summer Romance, Luv E. Duvey
Run-Ons
Heart of America
Customer: Waiter, waiter, there’s a fly in my soup!
Waiter: (enters, very snooty, peering into the soup) Oh yes, you are right sir. That will be an extra 25 cents.
Customer: But waiter, he’s swimming all over the top!
Waiter: (still snooty) You are right, sir. It doesn’t know it’s a fly sir. It’s doing the butterfly stroke.
Customer: Well, I think it must be an Australian!
Waiter: Why do you say that sir?
Customer: Because it’s down under now!
Pat: Doctor! Doctor! Am I going to die?
Doctor: That’s the last thing you’ll do.
Pat: Doctor! Doctor! Everyone keeps ignoring me.
Doctor: Next!
Pat: Doctor! Doctor! My back feels like a deck of cards!
Doc: I’ll deal with you later.
Boy 1: Tonight we are going to be talking about ancient Greece.
Boy 2 (walks on stage carrying a can of Crisco.)
Boy 1: No, no; not that kind of grease. You know Greece, the place.
Boy 2: Oh yeah, that’s in back of the cafeteria.
Applause
Cheese Grater
Act as if you are looking for the cheese grater in the kitchen. Once you find it start to grate cheese and say, "great, great, great. Great!"
Pizza Toss
Pat your hands from side to side. Throw the pizza up into the air and yell "MAMA MI-A!"
Ice Cream Cone
Act as if you are placing two scoops of ice cream on a cone. As you place a scoop on the cone, say "YUM". Then open your mouth and hit your cone on your forehead.
Run-Ons
York Adams Council
http://members.aol.com/Attacca/puns.html
(In honor of Bill Stewart!)
To my sweetheart: My cooking's gotten better since I fondue.
Once I got angry at the chef of an Italian restaurant, so I gave him a pizza my mind.
Q: What happened to the man who fell out of a 10-story window and landed on a soda?
A: Nothing it was a soft drink.
Q: Are potatoes good athletes?
A: No, they're just spectators!
Q: Where do hamburgers go to dance?
A: The meatball.
Q: What happens to potatoes when they get really mad?
A: They get steamed.
Q: How many hamburgers can you eat on an empty stomach?
A: One. Then your stomach isn't empty anymore.
Applause
York Adams Council
Watermelon Applause - Everyone holds a huge slice of watermelon in their hands. They slurrrrp it into their mouths from one end of the slice to the other. (Move slice across face making slurping sound.) Then they spit out the seeds to the side (raspberries!).
Cantaloupe Cheer: Like the watermelon cheer, but proportionately smaller. Hold piece of cantaloupe in your hand. Move it across your mouth taking a "short bite" from end to end, turn your head, and spit out the seeds.
Grape Cheer: (Just as the Cantaloupe Cheer was a smaller version of the Watermelon Cheer, the Grape Cheer is a smaller version of the Cantaloupe Cheer!) Only need to use one hand!
After Dinner Applause - "Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is!"
Ketchup Bottle Cheer - Pat bottom of bottle (left hand), then the third time the ketchup comes out all over "BLLLLGGGG".
Food Applause: Rub tummy and say "Yum, yum, yum!"
